Alright, time to vent, rant, let off steam, etc. I try so hard to do the domestic housewife thing. I stay home with Camden, and that's great. It's the rest that I am not so good at. I am a terrible cook. I'd say that only about 20% of what I make ever turns out edible. If you don't believe me, just call my mother. When I was growing up, she always sent me out of the kitchen, I wasn't really allowed to help unless it was peeling potatoes. I was allowed to clean up, but not cook. Now I call her nearly every other day asking how to salvage a meal that I am in the middle of cooking because I inevitably have done something wrong. I don't get it. I took cooking in high school, I watch Rachel Ray all the time, I own a hundred different cook-books, I visit cooking blogs, but I can RARELY get it right. It's just not in my genes, I guess, which is weird because my mom and grandma are/were fabulous cooks. My sisters are good cooks. However, I have actually managed to burn water.
Do you want to know what else isn't in my genes? Any craftiness. I have tried to be crafty and make cute stuff for the home at various Relief Society activities, but it always ends up looking like a two-year old made it. That's why I don't go to Relief Society stuff, I am horrible at it, I hate it, and it isn't me. Every now and then I get the bug to try again. For example, I have a scrapbook that I have been working on for three years. I have eight pages done. That's it. I have no creativity in that department. I stare at page colors and it literally takes me days to try to figure out what colors match what to make a decent spread. They still look like a little kid did it. I have put the scrapbook away for now and pray that one day my incredibly talented little sister will find herself bored with her life again and will want to do my scrapbooks again.
Speaking of Relief Society, we have a Super Saturday coming up next month and there are soooooo many really cute things that I am actually wanting to make. I am going to do it. I know the outcome will probably not be that great, but these things are so stinking cute that I just have to try. Ask me about it next month, I'm sure I will tell you all about how badly they turned out and how they will remain half-way completed in my garage or closet for the next ten years until I finally throw them out. But I am going to try, against all my better judgment.
I've tried sewing. I was actually somewhat successful at a little baby quilt that I made years ago for a YW project. However, that was under the very watchful eye of my amazing seamstress of a mother. I tried to make clothes, I tried to do cross-stitch and latch-hook, you name it, I've tried it. Like most things, they end up half-way completed because they are so chalk full of mistakes that I can't fathom fixing so I never finish and I never enjoy doing it anyway. Whenever my mom comes to visit me she sees all sorts of things that need mending. She always tells Aaron to buy me a sewing machine so that I can do those things. He laughs at her every time because he knows my abilities. Thankfully my mom will do the mending for me with a trusty little needle and thread.
Lately I have been doing that loathsome comparison thing to other women/friends who I know that can "do it all" (you know who you are!) I get insanely jealous and wonder why can't I do that? So I try to prove to myself that I can do it. I will get all motivated to try a new home project and it is inevitably a disaster. So in the end, I have to accept who I am. I am not creative. I'm not, and I am the one who needs to accept this.
So when you come to my house and my picture frames are not homemade, I bought dinner at a restaurant somewhere, and my mending has piled up for a year, now you know why. I do not enjoy these things, I am not good at them, and I'd rather buy all of my stuff on sale at Ross or TJ Maxx!
So, along those lines, I have really been trying to think of exactly what my talents are. It's easy to see what they aren't, but sometimes finding what they are is very tricky. I am currently working on my Young Women's Personal Progress stuff, and one of the goals is to write down what talents I have and how I can develop them further. Well, I am really having trouble in this department. I asked Aaron to help me, and the only thing he could come up with is that I can type fast. Yes, that's true, but I was hoping for something that would make me rich and famous, ha, ha! So, I am not trying to have a pity party here, but I am honestly in need of a little help so that I can pass off my YW goals. If you know something that I am talented at, please tell me! That way I will be able to recognize it and try to improve upon it. And just for the record, we all know it isn't anything in the creative department!
11 years ago
6 comments:
Julie,
I truly don't believe that you're not creative or a good cook. sometimes these things just take time to work on, as you continue to work on them you will get better and better. Take it from me, I've been there and I know exactly how you feel. As far as your talents go, you're a wonderful visiting teacher, friend and mother! Also, I happen to know that you have done a great job as a leader not only in young womens but Relief society as well (we loved having you as a teacher). I know one thing my mom has always said about you from the day that she first met you, was that you have such a strong testimony. I think that you could count one of your talents as making people feel comfortable around you and truly becoming a good friend.
I tried to put a comment on earlier at work, but then my computer froze. So here we go again. When I think of you, I think of fun. You are pretty dang talented at having fun. I always get so excited whenever I am going to see you b/c I know we'll have some crazy/kooky adventure that we'll laugh at for years, even if it's a miserable experience (hello, worst restaurant in West). As a kid I always looked up to you because you were in journalism and you were great at that--writing and finding the story. Hey--you still "Sherlock Holmes" for the truth these days when you take on the myths behind people's crazy forwards. :) You have a beautiful voice--though you don't use it much more than for goofing around at opera, you got hella potential. And you taught yourself how to play piano. That always amazed me. You're better than anyone else in the fam, and lessons were crammed down our throats.
I am also reminded of the book Charly by Jack Weyland. Remember how she was a New York City convert and couldn't do all the homemakey things? Well one time in church, they were discussing activities they like to do as a couple, and Charly said she and her hubby liked to make love. Maybe you've got some talents there, *wink, wink*
You are way to hard on yourself!! We are all as women!! It has been so long since I saw you last but from what I can remember you were always so SMART Julie. I always tought so in H.S. And as far as being crafy, so what!! At least you try and I am sure you do make some awesome stuff.
I am like you and compare myself to others a lot!! I look at a few of my sisters and think, dang why are they so perfect. As far as the scrapbooking thing goes. There is no rule that sais you have to be a scrapbooker. I love it and it's one thing I can express my creativity...but you don't have to be like all the other scrappers. There is nothing wrong with SIMPLE!! I am sure you are much more talented then you give yourself credit for.
Take care....
Nat
Julie...
You are an amazing teacher. We miss having you in Relief Society. You are also a great mother. I've watched you with Camden and hope to do half as well with Eli. And as far as the crafty stuff goes, I figure there are more important things to be good at...being a good wife, mother, friend, sister, daughter, etc... It sounds like you are doing just fine there. So no worries!
I've felt the same way many times, Julie! All the "Relief Society" things are just not MY things and I silently groan and moan about participating in them. When secretly, I'm jealous of those women that could survive for a whole century, if needed, when I would only be able to make it maybe 8 hours! haha Maybe it'd be fun to try and learn together and we could at least not feel so bad if we're at least having fun while "ruining" whatever it is we're trying. But, hey - practice makes perfect, right?! As far as your talents go, I've always known that you are Ms. Investigator - you can find any answer or any solution as the situation may call for and pull together all your resources FAST! Perhaps we too narrowly define "talents" and "hobbies" to only the popular ones - but there are a million out there! Just keep exploring!!!
Jules, I think you are a great writer. You have always been quick witted and funny. I miss that about you. You are also an easy person to be around-very easy going and low-key. You don't need to channel Martha Stewart or Rachel Ray to have talents. We would be a Stepford society if every woman was like them. Boring!!
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