Dreams

Today I am dreaming of going on a cruise. Laying on a beach. Climbing a mountain. Dining in Paris. Lying on the grass of Green Park listening to Big Ben chime in the background while I enjoy my lunch. Hiking in the Tetons. Going to a movie. Reading a book. Enjoying chocoloate and waffles at the square in Brussels. A canal ride in Brugge. An awesome hotel room in Manhattan overlooking the World Trade Center site. Fishing for Salmon in Alaska. Scuba diving in Haleiwa. White water rafting on the American River. Swimming with stingrays in Grand Cayman where I lived.

Actually, I've done those things. So why am I dreaming of them? Because I am dying to do them again. All of them. But then I look at my sweet babies and know that it isn't possible. Life is different now. It's better. I have sweet angels that call me "Mommy" and come to me to wipe away their tears. They believe everything I tell them and they think I know all of the answers. They think my peanut butter and honey sandwiches are gourmet and that I am a good driver. They are the best.

But sometimes just sometimes, but mind finds itself in a faraway land. Usually London, but almost as often it's a beach somewhere. And I can close my eyes and relax. I can lay on the beach or ride the tube and not worry about if my child is drowning or not "Minding the Gap."

Maybe all I need is to get out for dinner and movie. Yeah, I'd take that. It's been almost two years since I've done that.