Today I spent two hours cleaning the house while all three children were in bed. I was tired from being up in the night with the baby, but the house was such a wreck that I chose to clean instead of nap. It looked great. Not a dish in the sink, not a thing on the counter, the bathrooms were clean, the floors vacuumed and mopped, etc. Now, at 9:00 at night, the house is a wreck again. There are muddy footprints on the carpet, a sink full of dishes, and toys everywhere. Oh yeah, and I'm still tired. I made the wrong choice, I should've napped instead of cleaned as the house is dirty regardless. It wasn't even clean by the time Aaron got home at 6:00, so I couldn't even impress him. I have no witness to my clean house. So if a tree falls in a forest and no one can hear it, did it really make a sound? Sigh.
Tonight was the Relief society Christmas dinner at my church. They provided baby-sitting and since Aaron wasn't feeling well I decided to give him a free evening and take the kids with me to utilize the babysitting. I was excited for the friendship and food that I rarely get to participate in. About 2o minutes or so into the evening one of the ladies at the table where I was sitting asked whose little boy that was. I turned around to see a nursery leader with a tearful Camden and a crying Audrey. I handed Patrick to a friend and went into the hall to see what was wrong. Cam needed to go to the bathroom and Audrey was just sad. We went to the bathroom. Neither would go back into the nursery. I contemplated just leaving at this point but the baby was still in with my friend and so was my bag. I decided to try to at least finish my soup, bringing the kids with me. Of course Audrey and Camden both started acting up (right during the program no less ) and despite my friends' best efforts to help (thanks Heather and Brooke!), it wasn't meant to be. So with my bowl of soup hardly touched, I packed up the kids and left. All in all, I spent more time getting ready for the event than I actually spent at the event. Sigh.
There's nothing more frustrating than:
The one piece of mail placed on the counter that was cleaned off.
Getting ready for bed at night after doing six loads of laundry and finding that one piece of laundry in the hamper that was just dropped in there.
The one dish in the sink after doing dishes.
The one dog poop on the ground an hour after cleaning it all up.
The drips of pee on the toilet and floor after scrubbing both.
Food smeared in Audrey's hair promptly after a bath and ten minutes of styling it so cute.
Everyone always says that Motherhood is a thankless job. However, if there's not any thanks to go around, then I'd rather skip all the work involved. :) Why do the laundry, dishes, cleaning, bathing, etc., when at the end of the day it doesn't look like you've done any of it? I think I will skip it and keep my sanity instead.
11 years ago
8 comments:
i agree!! you are doing great!
i was feeling a lot like this yesterday too. then, i too realized that it doesn't matter. as long as we are happy and the kids are happy...we can have a clean house in 10 or 15 years, and our babies will no longer need all the snuggling and wiping...and i must say, i will miss it! there are definitely season's in life for such things.
and i bet it felt so good for that few minutes to survey your clean house! just thinking about it makes me happy!! sometimes when i get discouraged, i remind myself of my mantra from London..."look up to the sky and see the light". when i was struggling to love it there and feeling closed in by the dark, drizzly city...i would remind myself of that and look up to see that there was a whole world of possibilities waiting for me...and then the city became fun again with so much to explore. i think motherhood is like that in a lot of ways...at least for me!
i love you lady! hope today is full of possibilities!!
First, I have thoroughly enjoying the influx of posts. :)
Oh, this is the hamster wheel, isn't it? Cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. What makes me so frustrated is when Justin gets angry at a messy house and I feel like it's taken so much effort to maintain its current state of chaos (it could be so much worse) and he doesn't do a lot to help out.
I swear...in the near future when I feel like I can use some of our income a little more frivolously, I am SO hiring someone to clean my house a couple hours a month. And I won't even feel guilty about it.
Ah Jules, I am right there with you. Sometimes, Nate will notice that the house is clean and actually tell me thanks- it's nice to feel appreciated. Just keep this thought in mind that a lady from one of our old wards told me-" Your kids will not remember how clean your toilets were or how nice your house looks, they remember that you spent time with them and took time to play and give them attention." It helps me to keep perspective. Love ya- you make me laugh! :)
Having enough rest so that you can cope is definitely the best choice at this time. I love the feeling of a clean house but sometimes the price we pay isn't worth it. Do the quick cleans, pick ups, and just muddle through like the rest of us do. You do a wonderful job....enjoy the journey and the cuteness of your little ones. They are changing every day.
Well said. Although I don't quite have 3 kids yet, i have had one heck of a week that feels the same way! Wish i lived closer, id take turns helping out or tag teaming the cleaning together or the kids,every once in a while!
I feel your pain!! My favorite thing to tell my husband when he comes home to a messy house and says "what happened?" I say, "Hey, while you have been working, we have been living here!" It's not like we can stay in the house all day and not touch anything! I agree though...sleep when the baby sleeps!
Julie, i love that you can read my mind and my thoughts and post them on your blog! You know just what I am feeling and you can put it down in words so much better than I can! I think you are doing beautifully! And I could picture your sparkling clean house and I tip my hat to you! Keep up the good work... from one mother to another- you are doing fabulous!!!
Don't give up hope! Maybe your next anniversary, birthday, random present request can be a 50-75 dollar clean house. Of course, this led (in my case) to a once a month house-cleaner that has been going on for quite awhile. My wife couldn't be happier, knowing that despite the house reverting quickly to prior conditions, once a month she had help and an adult to talk to. Good Luck!
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