Fingerprints

My sliding glass door is a mess.  It is constantly covered in gooey fingerprints and who knows what else.  I used to feel frustrated that whenever I cleaned it, it would only last about a day before the fingerprints began to accumulate again.  However, something changed over the last few months and I now cherish the gooey fingerprints on my sliding door and I haven't washed them off.

Two angels flew home this last summer.  Both within a couple of weeks of each other.  I didn't ever have the 

privilege of meeting either of them, but I knew each of their parents and their stories well.  The first was my cousin's daughter, Ember, who passed away in May.  Ember was born with Pierre-Robin's Syndrome.  She was about 18 months old when she died from complications.  As I attended her funeral and watched my cousin and his wife, my heart ached.  I have never known that kind of loss and grief.  When I imagine losing one of my children I begin to feel sorrow beyond belief, and that is a situation that hasn't even occurred in my life.  

Prior to the funeral I contacted my good friend whose daughter was stillborn a few years ago.  I asked for general advice on what I should say to my cousin or how I should help.  She told me to just be there for the Mama and let them know that because I am a mother I grieve with them too at the unimaginable loss of a child.

Ember

Three weeks later that very same friend who gave me that advice lost her 3 year old baby girl, Veiyah.  She was the twin to the baby who was stillborn.  Veiyah was a remarkable little girl who touched lives all across the country.  She was born with a major heart defect and endured several surgeries in her short little life including open heart surgeries.  Through it all her parents have stood as pillars of faith to all who know them and followed their journey.  I have known my friend since high school and she has always been a great example of facing adversity with strength in the Lord.  When I heard the news that Veiyah had passed away, I was at my sister's house.  I took a shower and sat on the floor and wept as the water ran over me.  Circumstances prevented me from attending her funeral, and I still don't feel right about that.

Veiyah

These little girls are true angels. Both sets of parents deserve gold medals and a seat next to our Savior in Heaven for the way they each nurtured and were 24-hour nurses to their daughters.  Neither of these losses are mine, so I can not even pretend to feel the grief that their families must feel.

Each time I looked at my dirty window this last summer I remembered these girls.  Instead of feeling frustrated by the grime, I began to cherish it.  I realized that their parents' would give anything to have those precious fingerprints on their windows.  It may sound kind of strange, but my fingerprinted window now feels like a place of reverence...a place to honor my children for what they do best, being children and being in my life.